It is true to say that finding your perfect life-long partner can and might be a special problem for any one of the social types although I’m biasing this towards thinkers and day-dreamers.

The Reinin dichotomy that identifies the division between subjectivists and objectivists would highlight a key difference in how people go about ‘the dating game’.

It would simply be the difference between those who base all their knowledge of people on personal experiences vs. impartiality towards every situation.

Since it is generally ‘easier’ to be subjective, most people are. It is generally ‘harder’ to be objective because that would involve the desire and ability to know reality (“truth”) through external observations rather than pure personal experience.

It may also be comically known as The Jerk (subjectivist) vs. Nice Guy (objectivist) battle. The following diagram I’ve put together is a nice way of showing how this battle reaches a conclusion:

The triangle represents that however you deal with the world in respect of the opposite sex it will eventually lead to “settling down” and if it doesn’t then you haven’t learnt to appreciate the other end of the spectrum with regards to where you predominantly rest in this dichotomy.

I don’t mean to suggest that everyone should be looking for their dual although I do have a general comment about the odd female ESE “enthusiast” that I’ve known. As heavily subjective they might treat every potential partner as “the one” which is almost the complete opposite of myself.

As I swing the other way I usually treat everyone I meet obviously more impartially thus specifically believing that I have to figure out their potential worth to me. There is no “the one” until I decide after years and years of philosophising who I simply want to make a commitment with.

I believe this answers that age-old question of “why do nice guys always finish last?”.

Further reading: Nice Guys Finish Last